It has been a long time since I took time out of my day to ask myself, in a perfect world, what would my life look like? After probably complaining too long to a friend the other day, I was asked that question. If I had everything I ever wanted, described in detail, what would that be? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself this? In the middle of our day to day operations, and rushing from one thing, one thought to the next, how long has it been since you thought about what it is you actually want?
It may sound crazy, but when asked this question, I did not have an answer. I was not sure what my perfect world looked like. First my head went to my relationships, then where I’d live, what I would do for a career, how much money I’d have, what I would own, how I would spend my time, and who I would spend it with. I started thinking about the people I would want in my life every single day, and the universe I would create to be my bubble of happiness. And here I am writing my thoughts for the world to see because I believe we should not feel bad for saying what we want. After all, if we can’t say it, if we can’t vision it, then how in the world are we ever going to make our visions of a perfect world come true?
Spoiler alert, I may not be able to make all of my closest family and closest friends live in the same city, hang out every day, help each other out with child care, and enjoy weekly dinners together, laughing and sharing stories, but just having that vision of spending more time with those I care about is important to say so that I can do real steps to making that happen. So here it goes, my perfect world, so you can feel free to no longer hold your vision of a perfect world inside or feel selfish to admit it.
First: People- I want my relationships to be flawless. I want to wake up in the morning to music, the smell of coffee, and my son’s laughter. I want breakfast to be fun to enjoy and have a connection with my nuclear family to be so strong we can talk about anything, turn tears into laughter, and a hug to feel like a hug from God. One where you feel ecstatic to be you, where you know you are loved for exactly who you are. The ultimate acceptance. I want conversation to flow so smoothly that even side tracks and tangents get followed and eventually come back to a conclusive statement about any and all points you were trying to make. I want feelings to be validated, and emotions to be felt all the way through to the end until you feel resolution at the end. And not like you have to put a wall up or push emotions down so you don’t feel them. I want emotions to be felt and accepted. I envision living in a shared community with my best friends and closest family members where we each have our own homes, but we come together for dinners with family and friends. We drink wine and socialize. Our kids play together, and the parents laugh together. I imagine lounging outside on a cool summer night. Playing yard games and grilling out. I imagine falling asleep peacefully after reading my son a bedtime story and he sleeps through the night and wakes me up by jumping on my bed in the morning, and we all laugh and cuddle together.
Second: Places-I would want to live at the bottom of the mountains, near the ocean, where there are 4 seasons. I would want the summers to be hot, spent surfing in the ocean and playing in the sand. I would want the fall to be filled with pumpkin spiced lattes, walks along the ocean in jeans and hoodies, and backyard fires at night. The winter would be spent snowboarding in the mountains and eating french fries from the ski lodge. Springs would be full of fresh vegetables to eat and lilac bushes to smell. Running in the rain and splashing in puddles. This magical place would also be close to everything. I would bike to get groceries from a farmer’s market, walk to a cafe for the best espresso in town, and barely a car ride away from family.
Third: Things-I would have a home that has floor to ceiling windows so I could always watch the sunrise and set over the mountains and the ocean. I would have a house that is only big enough for us to live comfortably, but not so big I can’t clean it. I would spend one day a week cleaning like Pippi Longstocking did using scrub brushes as skates while listening to music or doing gymnastic flips to Hard Knock Life like the orphans in Annie. I would want it to look like a JoJo Gaines creation and the kitchen would be the place my family gathered to cook together and make messes together licking cookie dough off of our fingers. I would have a family SUV that was eco friendly, safe, and fun to drive. I would have a nice laundry room that smelled like fresh linens and had a place for dirty things, clean things, and a place to fold things and store things. I’d have natural beauty products on my “her” side of the bathroom where I’d have the perfect lighting to make myself look beautiful and feel clean and fresh every day. I think I would have a dog and a cat for cuddles and unpredictable play. I would have a yard to entertain with edison lights, a pergola, and a things to keep me active as well as calm. I would work from home most days writing, but I’d get my material from outdoor adventures with my son and LIVEfor community activities and interviews.
What does all of this mean? Reading back what I just wrote, I realize the underlying theme is that my perfect world involves more of what my heart wants to feel... peace, tranquility, unpredictable fun, a lot of love, a lot of laughs, pure acceptance and freedom to be me. I’d want my basic needs met that allowed me to feel beautiful, breathe easy, and take care of my family. There is barely a list of specific tangible items here. There is mainly a list of people and feelings. My perfect world does not involve an actual destination, a brand of car or clothes, or a list of goals I need to meet before I reach my dream world. What came out as I typed is a lot of examples of how I want to feel. The question is, how do I create these feelings and fix all of the relationships that have been flawed in order to make them flawless? Is this even possible? How do I get my mind to feel and see this dream could become a reality? That I have choice and freedom to spend my days however I choose.
We are not predestined to do anything other than what I choose to do. None of us are. We are blessed with the freedom of choice. We just need to be strong enough to choose for us, for our happiness, for the relationships that are important to us. I think it’s time we stop creating a list of reasons why our wants and needs are not as important as someone else’s.
So what is it that you want? Are you willing to write it down and scream it from the mountain top? And take the first step into making it happen? Share your story with us, or just a piece of paper. Get it out of your head and onto something tangible and go get it! You deserve it.
-Kathryn Kraft, MPT
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