Oh how I miss those days. You moms out there remember them, right? The mom parties? The parties that started as soon as your baby/toddler went to bed about 7 or 7:30pm and you knew you had at least 3 hours of interrupted time? I LOVED those predictable days. I would typically grab a glass of wine (or the bottle), a bag of chips, and put on Fixer Upper or This is Us, depending on if I wanted to laugh or cry. Anything to just be alone in my moment and get my emotions out, to no one but myself. In those days, my husband would either still be at work or working in his office so I knew it could be my party. I could watch anything I wanted, wear sweats, and just be me. Not a mom. Not a wife. Not a milk factory. But just the emotional mess I was...it was glorious. And then he “grew up.” Mom parties came to an abrupt end one day and I found myself saying, “those were the good ol’ days.” My how times change.
I’d say he was 2 years old when I gave up hope for my mom parties. Bedtime got later and later. He needed more and more to eat, drink, read, you name it. Nothing seemed to work to get him to sleep. Nothing seems to work to get him to sleep now at 2 years 10 months. If you follow my blog at all, you know my dream has come true through the mandatory Stay at Home guidelines. I’m the unschooling mom I have always wanted to be (insert eye roll). I let my child make his decisions. I provide him with a plethora of information when asked or when I feel he could benefit from it. I don’t force him to say sorry or finish his dinner. I engage him in developmentally appropriate conversations where he can come up with and even agree on our family agreements (definitely not rules). And this just creates perfect harmony where everyone’s needs are met, I never lose my patience, and it’s all just rainbows and butterflies while we are choosing to Stay Home, forever. And Ever. Every minute of every, single, day. Sigh. And while most of the above is true when it comes to how we parent our son, we are by no means living the happily ever after versions of our lives I would have expected through all of ...well, this.
So what is happening? I’m so glad you asked! My almost 3 year old is literally climbing our walls or ladders or on top of our heads. He is spilling everything (on purpose), throwing water beads, dry beans, sand, food, drinks, phones, drum sticks, anything he can get his hands on and watch soar through the air to make sure gravity is still a thing. He is not eating food, but demanding blue cake as soon as he wakes up in the morning. And by the way, what the hell is blue cake? He is staying up until 11pm some nights, often the last one up in the house, and he is on my phone more than I am! And pant-less! So if you are trying to get a hold of me and cannot, it’s because when he sees your call or text he just swipes it away as if it has never existed. After one more very long day today and barely a nap, he literally took my phone, put on the Moshi Twilight app to read him a bedtime story, by himself, and passed out on our couch at 7pm. Woohoo!! Hallelujah! I consider that a win! Where's the wine?!
I mean don’t get me wrong. I look around my house and I often think how lucky I am. I love our house. I love our mini garage gym. I love my family. I love that I can go for a walk outside, work from home, and get to pick up that little kid and give him the biggest kisses ever. But man, if I ever needed a mom party it is right now. So to all you parents out there who are doing it perfectly in your own imperfect world, raise your glass (or bottle) with me and say a prayer to the Corona Virus Gods. Pray that our community continues to stay at home, and sane, and to slow the spread of this awful virus. Pray that those who are ill will get better. Pray that all the essential workers stay healthy and rested and connected with their families. Pray that those essential workers at liquor stores and wine shops keep their shelves stocked so even if just for a few hours at night, we can all have a drink, and gain some energy and humor, to face another day with an open heart and laughter on our side. Because if I step on just one more water bead, dry bean or broken glass while I am trying to cook my family a descent meal of gluten free mac and cheese, and I cannot laugh at that...then I might just be the one testing if gravity is still a thing :)
Kathryn Kraft, MPT
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