For any of you who have followed my blog from the beginning, you know that as a parent I have done and said many things that I swore I would never. Well, to no one’s surprise I’m sure, that list continues for me. Not only did I allow my son to pick chocolate chips to eat for breakfast this morning, don’t worry I later burnt eggs for him to eat as well, but I have also put him in front of the tv or placed an ipad in his arms more times than I want to admit. However, every time we have done this, it has been educational and our son is learning ASL faster than I ever expected. So while his ability to communicate his needs, wants, and simpy to “talk” to us has increased tremendously over the last few months, how do you know when too much is too much?
I’ve waited for as long as I remember to be a mom. I played house when I was little. I heard my baby clock ticking at 30 years old when I was single, and as soon as I knew wedding bells were in my future, all I thought about was becoming a mom, at least more than I thought about being a wife (sorry Kyle!).
The hand off from mom to physical therapist that would initially leave an infant I was treating teary eyed, always made my heart sink a bit, but the happy return to mom was so precious to watch. Infants, toddlers, kids in general love their moms like no one else. And every single mom I’ve ever met has always told me that the love for your child is different than anything else. Different is what I didn’t understand, but desperately wanted to. Different is good. Rock Your Different is just one cause that reminds us of this daily. But what is different when it comes to mom to child love? How do you describe it? And how do moms do it? Because different is hard!
Here at the Kraft household, Fridays are a very exciting day for us. It is not only pizza night where we all get to have dinner together and stuff our faces with the most delicious gluten free pizza in town, but it also marks the start of a weekend filled with fun and movement!
Fridays start with an early wake up where my husband and I rush to get ready for work, our son ready for Bouncing Babies, and our updates sent out to grandma who will be spending the day with Bekytt. At the end of the day, Kyle and I hurry home to make sure we are home in time for Bekytt to steal a bite or two of our pizza before we help him drift off to sleep.
It’s one of those milestones that make you proud as a parent. It’s a day you eagerly await. You take pictures and video and then all of a sudden it hits you. Your once snuggly baby is now a toddler. A toddler who can walk and talk, at least a little, who can use sign language (thanks to Baby Signing Time) to communicate his needs, and who can communicate “yes” and “no” rather well.
For me, the most overwhelming feeling that comes to heart today is relief. Almost exactly a year ago I started this blog. To share our journey, to have an escape from the everyday exhaustion of raising an infant, but mainly to connect to other moms, friends, and family who have been through the unpredictable journey of parenthood. For those of you just joining our blog, our first son Bekytt surprised us all when he was born at 29 weeks. With an uncomplicated pregnancy, we expected he would arrive late, but not early. It was a surprise, but just like the story of Welcome to Holland one parent shared, we just had to adjust our plans. We didn’t know how the days, months or years would turn out. We still aren’t sure of all of his future plans, but today we learned he can walk.
But it has to be a “talk to you later”- Writing this blog has saved me in so many ways. It has stopped me from losing my mind when nothing seemed to make sense in the world of newborns. It has re-connected me with friends I have not been in contact with for years. And it has helped me get to know some people I either never met or barely knew. Parenthood has a way of doing that. Being a parent crosses many barriers. No matter if you are a father, mother, foster parent, grandparent, or if you’re raising your kids in the US or overseas, we can all relate to one another. That is what I love about this new club I’m blessed to be a part of. I love writing about it, and I don’t think I’ll ever truly stop, but yesterday I got some exciting, and somewhat stressful news, that is making me take a look at my priorities right now.
Apparently I was worried– I have been lucky enough these past few nights to be able to sleep long enough to dream. I have had random short dreams now and again since Bekytt was born, but nothing like I did when I was pregnant. Was it just me or is it normal to have the craziest dreams when you are pregnant? My dreams made no sense back then. I could never figure out a rhyme or reason why a high school boyfriend would randomly show up and not even play a significant role in the dream. I won’t even try to explain them, just know they were crazy. However, the other night I must have had one long dream because I woke up in a panic that I missed Thanksgiving. At least this dream could be interpreted.
To all veterans who have ever served– Veterans Day is tomorrow and I always feel undeserving when someone says “Happy Veterans Day.” To me, the holiday was always meant to honor those who have served overseas and fought on foreign land, and that I have never done. I always think of my grandpa and great uncles and the older gentleman proudly wearing his Vet hat sitting at the local VFW. The men and women who have gone to war and my fellow soldiers who have deployed to the Middle East and experienced some crazy $!&@. Those are the people I’m drawn to say Thank You to and never think of myself.
Nothing is certain-Lately, I have had the luxury of being able to study my son pretty much 24 hours a day. I think it’s fair to say I’m tying to analyze his movements to see if he is on track with his developmental age and decide his personality all at once. He is still in the stage where almost every day he is completely different, but It is so fun to see as he develops his likes and dislikes and is starting to tell us consistently what those things are. I know he loves to be diaper free, he loves to float during bath time, he loves to move and explore his surroundings with his vision, and he definitely loves to eat. I watch him reciprocally kick his little arms and legs all over the place during bath time and I love it. He is just so happy when he gets to move. But then he does these crazy movements while eating and I wonder what this may be telling me.